Daily Sizzle: Toys will never be the same.

The Daily Sizzle is where us here at FM, rant, rave, hate, and date pretty much anything we want.

After last nights first FM Podcast recording EVER, (Which is currently being edited,  (we got the guy who edited drumline, he was out of work… like everyone else who had anything to do with that film)  MtK and I walked over to our local big box toy store. (Because we are creepy, creepy individuals)  I didn’t want to be there.  In my mind, the toys of today consisted of Hannah Montana “make me a slut” kits, and Bratz “my first naughty secretary” costumes.  While both of things did still exist, I also found a reincarnation of almost every toy I ever remember having when I was a child.

• Moon Boots: What person between 18 - 26 doesn’t remember moon boots! They were the gift that everyone wanted and nobody had.  (Except Omar Gooding)
• Nerf Whistling Footballs: As MtK described it:  “the most annoying sounding football ever invented”.  But I remember these things as being a ton of fun.  Back in the day, when a whistling noise denoted speed.
• Slot Car Racing: Slot car racing was racing before new fangled computers and crazy arcade games.  And apparently they still exist!  I couldn’t handle the nostalgia and almost had to buy a set.  But then I turned my ipod up, twitted, and got a fb mobile update.
• Wrestling Action Figures: Like most people my age, I watched wrestling in the mid 90s, ya know, when it was real.  When Stone Cold Steve Austin would give the Stunner to Dwayne Johnson The Rock.  When the Undertaker’s mortal enemy was Kane.  When all the wrestlers hadn’t had their steroid induced rages yet. Before the Wildlife Fund took its name back.
• Battery Powered Cars: I always envied kids who had these. You’d see a kid roaring down the middle of the street at a cool 5 miles per hour, with 3 cars right behind him, too afraid to try and go around.  I would have killed to be that kid (and still would) They were better than the Prius will ever be.
• Trampolines: I invented a game with a couple of my friends where we would jump on a trampoline while someone tried to hit us with plastic baseballs that were shot out of a pitching machine. It was dangerously amazing as it sounds.  They pay off of playing for an hour and seeing one kid get hit in the nuts was completely worth it.  Every time.  Sadly, this game isn’t possible anymore.  All the trampolines have those dumb safety nets around them.  Does anyone else remember a time when safety took a backseat to fun?
• Above Ground Pools: When did pools get so cheap!?  When I was growing up, I always thought pools were reserved only for the most luxurious and wealthy.  Even above ground ones.  The store had them STARTING at 200 dollars.  I couldn’t wrap my head around this.  I mean if you had told me I could have had a pool for the price of my super Nintendo. I would have said… I still want my super Nintendo.

In closing I’d just like to make a prediction; It’s all down hill from here.  If all of these companies are re-releasing the toys that I remember from my childhood, what are they going to do in 10 years? Re-re-release them?  It’s clear that the new toys that are coming out today are shit, and that all the best stuff was released years and years ago.

by roninpowride
2 years ago